The J-FLAGging of the Postmodern Rasta

I had the pleasure of listening to “culture” musicians Queen Ifrica and Tony Rebel quibble like a bunch of market women quarrelling over who stole their bleaching cream on Nationwide News last night at around 7 last night. Naturally, it was about homosexuals. As you may already know, Queen Ifrica managed to make a fool of herself at the Independence Day Gala with some of the usual crap about shit she neither understands nor has any business talking about. Not surprisingly, J-FLAG complained about her, as they had done about Tony Rebel a year previous, so naturally Ifrica was pissed off at them

Queen Ifrica has deemed herself an expert on matters of sexual perversity due to her songs “Daddy don’t touch me there” and some encounters she had with young male prostitutes. Because some of these young men had been molested by male relatives, she decided to point out that many homosexuals had “initiated” through molestation, and the work that she done to “help” these young men. Tony Rebel then joined in after the commercial break to bitch and moan as well.

Enter Dane from J-FLAG. Dane from J-FLAG wanted to defend his organization, and by extension, the “Jamaican Gay Community” by stating their position on the matter of Ifrica’s and Tony Rebel’s statements. The problem is that Dane from J-FLAG did this by going on Nationwide News Network, instead of a news program, or a media station dedicated to bringing news and facts to the Jamaican people. The result was that Dane from J-FLAG got utterly and completely clowned, owned, mocked and made fun of. You see, Cliff Hughes and company do not deal in news – they deal in entertainment. It is impossible to have a serious discussion with the type of round table format used on that type of program. Nationwide News does not have the capability or the desire to do the investigative journalism, undercover specials, multi-part documentaries or thoroughly researched interviews that one sees on BBC Hardtalk –the types of activities that generate actual new-stories so that the Jamaican people make sense of their historical, economic, social and existential position. Neither is he or his staff funny enough to do satire like Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert. All he can give is a pastiche of a news program, with him pretending to be a referee, when his and other Jamaican news programs serve as a mirror to reflect the collective consciousness of the Jamaican people. Only last night, he reflected Queen Ifrica’s ugliness.

No, that is not a crossdresser

The extent and significance of Queen Ifrica’s fugliness cannot be overstated, so I will give it a paragraph here. Fucked up teeth. Reptilian jawline. Overall masculine facial characteristics and behaviour. Is it any wonder that the Rastafarian male community has turned away from Rastawomen , and are now more interested in non-Rastafarians? Just take a look at any video from Buju Banton, Sizzla, or any of the rest of them. All women with pounds of makeup and weave. Considering the Rastafarian male to female ratio is 6 men to 1 woman, this should come as no surprise, but what does come as a surprise is the utter breakdown of Rastafarianism as it is traditionally thought of in Jamaica Not only is the sight of Rastafarians eating chicken patties from Tastees or oxtail lunches from your local tuck shop, but one can see them freely walking around with white women in Half-Way-Tree, turning out at political rallies, and all the other things that would be verboten to Rastafarians recent as ten years ago. In other words, all that is required to be considered a Rastafarian nowadays is the hair, and the attitude, no belief system necessary.

Back to Dane from J-FLAG. Had Dane from J-FLAG been have had sated that although he was a member of J-FLAG, he was speaking on his own behalf. As a member of an organization mainly concerned with generating publicity for themselves and crafting press statements, he should have had focused on rhetoric, instead of trying to assert facts. He could have had brought the fact that anti-gay activists can have a noticeable effect on the already all-time low reggae album sales (Ifrica’s 2008 album sold only 2800 copies.). He could have had mentioned that both artistes would be concerned about the effect that the international network of gay activists could have on their ability to make money from international tours.

Oh no!!! Gays fucking up my album sales and tours. One ting alone fi dem battybwoy….

…now I can tour again!!! Yippeee!!!!

Lastly, he could have mentioned that all their bravado was just an attempt to backtrack on their statements that they made at the Independence Galas as an attempt to “get a forward.” But no, he simply played his part in the Cliff Hughes Variety and Comedy Show. Hughes pretending to be the impartial referee, Ifrica as the valiant heroine, avenging the injustice done against her by the faceless organization called J-FLAG, Tony Rebel as the calm, impartial, mature but forgiving Rastaman. And then we have Dane from J-FLAG, the badmind effeminate faggot who gets put in his place by the righteous Rastas. Everyone played their appropriate part.

The joke is, J-FLAG and the Rastas have much to offer each other. The picture of a Jamaican butch is not baggy pants and canerows, but a dreadlocked woman with tongue ring and oxford shirt pushed neatly into pleated dress pants. And as stated above, the Rasta male-female ratio isn’t looking too good. So what J-FLAG and the Rastafarian community need to do is unite. The butch lesbians can offer the straight Rastaman threesomes, and the Rastamen can let themselves out of the closet, as the only type of person who would want to be a Rastaman, in this day and age must be already gay as fuck. It would work out for the best – two organizations who have abandoned all ethics and integrity for the sake of publicity belong together

One thought on “The J-FLAGging of the Postmodern Rasta

  1. Love, love, love your blog brotha, I look forward to your articles. It’s a beautiful thing to find the intelligent perspectives of brothas like yourself and Abagond. Keep up the good work. By the way, you’ve convinced me to stay natural, I should force you to come to the UK and comb my hair from ends to root every morning.
    God bless, sista from the UK

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